Lost in Translation?

Florence, Il Sallotte di Firenze B&B, Thursday, July 10, 2008, 6:24 PM

Because we never really know who’s listening, like we have always done in my family (or at least Heidi and I have always done), Mom and I have developed a vocabulary of our own. I will try to recount them here, but suddenly I can’t seem to remember all of them:

“Fine Italian design.” Inspired by our discussion of great artists like Bernini, Michelangelo, Armani and Lamborghini. Today’s meaning: Handsome man. Hot guy. As in, “Mom, check out than fine Italian design on the far corner.”

“General _____ vicinity.” Origin unknown. Vague Americanism deflecting specific clarity of action, location or thinking, as in “Mom, I think I lost my earring in the general toilet vicinity” and “I don’t find myself in the generally hungry vicinity yet.” Now becoming overused.

“Poughkeepsie(?) (!)” From Sex and the City (the movie). Used when we don’t want to offend a host or proprietor, but when we suspect the food or water might cause intestinal difficulty and want to ask or warn the other one. We clearly have had enough of intestinal difficulty already and don’t want to risk anything worse. Capisco?

“Breast your cards.” An expression used when playing gin or poker meaning one should hide beware of others’ wandering eyes. Contemporary usage means “Keep your purse/camera/belongings close at hand. I suspect pickpockets nearby.”

“Because Americans are repressed, that’s why.” Repeatedly used to explain why Italians scream at each other in public, haggle over prices, bunch up at bus tops and don’t form straight lines, don’t hide their mistresses, don’t say excuse me on the street when they bump into you, and steal your money on trains when Americans don’t. It’s a cultural thing.